Stuff White People Like #137

#137 Floors

White people love floors; they just can’t get enough of them. All white people’s homes have floors, and many have multiple floors. If you ever want to sell a white person some floors, just describe them as hardwood floors, new hardwood floors, linoleum floors, ironic linoleum floors, teak, mahogany, or environmentally-friendly floors made from local organic wood. They will eat them up! Guaranteed. And if a white person cleans his floors one day, be assured you will hear about it within 24 hours. White people love talking about cleaning their floors, although they don’t call it that; they use euphemisms like “spring cleaning” and “housework.”

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